I FUCK your Mum
Friday, May 29, 2009
Have you ever being drunk?
For me, I had never being drunk.
I aren't implying that I am very good in holding my liquor, but in actual fact, I am, quite the opposite.
As a result, I had never really drank alcohol, and stay quite far away from them.
Being drunk isn't that fun in the first place.
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There was two guys sitting side by side,
at this particular bar counter.
Let just call them, Peter and Pete.
Both of the guys were drinking their own choice of drink peacefully, until one of the guys, Pete shouted to the other guy, Peter...
Facing with such a big insult, Peter remained unmoved, drinking his drink calmly. After all, Pete was only a drunkard.
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After a few seconds or so, Pete shouted to Peter again...
" I FUCK your mum!"
Yet again, Peter remained unmoved, as if he didn't hear what was Pete saying.
However, the other people in the bar was watching them, wondering what will Peter do.
-----
And for the third time, Pete shouted again to Peter...
"I FUCK you mum!"
Everyone was expecting Peter to punch right into Pete's face this time, when all they saw was...
Peter turned his head towards Pete and said...
"Go home, Dad. You are drunk!"
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~End~
怦怦说...
5:02 PM
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The F-File (Defination of different kinds of "FUCK" used)
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Foreword: The entry below will be quite vulgar to some of you. If you are underage (be it 7 years old or 70 years old), or are easily offended, please stay away and wait for the next decent entry.
Does this word sounds familiar to you?
In this world today, "FUCK" is no more a vulgarity, but some form of expression. We can easily hear/see this word, no matter where you go.
Be it you are in Singapore, Malaysia, U.S.A, Indian or even China...
"Fuck" has becomes an INTERNATIONAL language.
"Fuck" is normally used to scold, praise or even EXAGGERATE.
But what does "Fuck" actually means?
According to the American Heritage® Dictionary, "Fuck" means...
transitive verb1. To have sexual intercourse with.2. To take advantage of, betray, or cheat; victimize.3. Used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal.-----
intransitive verb1. To engage in sexual intercourse.2. To act wastefully or foolishly.3. To interfere; meddle. Often used with with.-----
noun1. An act of sexual intercourse.2. A partner in sexual intercourse.3. A despised person.4. Used as an intensive
So next time when you heard someone said...
That means that person (be it guys, girls, gays, lesbians and others) is sexually attracted to you.
Anyway, back to our topic today.
Today, I am here to disclose the 10 different version of "Fuck" written in the cyber world.
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1. FCUK
This seems to be the MOST popular version replacing the original "Fuck" used.
It seems that such people are addictive to branded goods. When even expressing their thoughts, they even use a branded name.
Oh, and by the way, do you know FCUK is a French Fashion shop? Ah, you dont know?
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2. Fish You
If you see anyone typing out this word, you can
49% guarantee that, this person is of a fishmonger background.
50% grantee that this person loves to fish.
1% grantee that this person's English is very (and I mean VERY) poor.
And one thing for sure, this person loves fishes better than sexual intercourse.
Otherwise why would they try to "Fish You", instead of "Fuck You"?
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3. Fuuucccckkkk
This implies that this person needs to go to see a doctor. There are 2 possible illness which this person could be having.
1st, the fingers of this person could be losing out of control.
When such event occurs, the person could not control his finger and thus, keep repeating tapping on the same letters of the keyboard, suucchhh liiiiikkkkkeeee ttthhaat.
2nd, this person could be having tongue tied.
As a result, what he typed out, is similar to what he said out. Have you ever see a tongue tied person speaking? It is succch likkke thhhhaat.
Sorry to those having tongue-tied. I am stating the truth.
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4. fUcK
Typing with alternate caps, jUsT lIkE tHAt, is certainly AMAZING.
Such person typing out with aLTErnaTe CaPS could be the NEXT genius of the century. And most probably win the next noble award.
And the award will be...
" The MOST annoying self- proclaimed stylish typer of the century"!
5. F-U
Basically, this person HATES to talk alot. Even when typing out letters, this person also tends to keep it to the minimum word length.
So next time when you talks to him, try using...
" KPKP KKN CCB F-ur LP lar"
"Kao Pei Kao Bu! Kan Ni Na, Chao Ci Bai, Fuck Your Lan Pa lar!"
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6. F@ck
I must say...
This person is a 100% complete computer FREAK, GEEK or whatever you call them.
Even when typing out "Fuck", this person also never forgets to include the FAMOUS...
If you ever see anyone using intensive "@" inside his sentence, j@st like th@t, you can simply advice him to take out the "@" letter from his keyboard. Try it!
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7. Fu-Ke
You can be 200% sure that the person typing out such word, is a PURE breed SINGAPOREAN.
This is yet another version of the original "Fuck-ed". Appearantly, it seems that "Fu-Ke" is pronouced as "Foo-ed".
As some Singaporeans cant pronouce clearly the "ed" from the word, "Fuck-ed". They tends to say, "Fuck-ke".
And as we know, Singapore is known for her CREATIVITY. And thus, when Singaporean get to know a new word, they will try to add in their own version.
And thus "Fu-Ke" is born (in Sinagpore).
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8. Fart
No, no, dont be mistaken when you see this word on your screen. The person typing out such word (maybe) is not farting or asking you to fart.
The tongue of this kind of person could be short and thus, instead of "Fuck", they will say...
"Fart!"
And thus when typing on the computer, they will also get used to it and also type "Fart", instead of "Fuck".
Or probably, that person is using a new slang which changes the pronoucation of "Fuck" to "Fart".
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9. Fuk
This can leads to 2 possibilties happening to the person typing.
It could be that the person has just make a typo (typing) error, which is common to everyone.
Or, it could be that this person is having a serious eye problem.
The eye problem is so serious that the person can't see the letter "C" on the keyboard. Such eye problem, in the NEW medical term is called...
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10. F
Yes, simply an "F" and we know what that person typing such word means.
Basically, such person is even more lazier than the "F-U person" (mention in point 5). And most probably, he doesn't even speak in his real life at all.
And so the next time when you see such person , don't type any letters to him, just type...
And I think that person will understand what you mean.
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Note: This entry is purely for fun, and does not intend to do any harm, be it physical, or emotional to anyone. If you are hurt, well, too bad for you.
~End~
怦怦说...
4:40 PM
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The "S" Files: Usage Of Singlish Terms
Recently, I had heard someone saying that...
"Singaporeans have a funny way of speaking English."
As a result, I decided to venture far (actually only just 100m to get my drink) to find out what Singlish, i mean English terms which Singpaoreans normally used.
And this is some of the terms which Singaporeans commonly used...
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1. Meh
E.g 1: He really score 100 marks for his test MEH?
E.g 2: U want to eat this MEH?
But apparently it is always used as a replacement for the question mark and, SHOULD be used before putting that question mark.
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2. Lar
E.g 1: Do your homework LAR!
E.g 2: Whatever LAR!
This word is often misinterpreted by non-Singaporeans or those Ang Mo.
As we can see from the example, LAR is always used at the end of the sentence.
However, LAR is OFTEN (NOT always) used to represent the exclaimation mark and NOT the full stop.
So, for those non-Singaporeans and Ang Mo, please don't try to use LAR , just because you want to be part of Singapore.
Wrong usage 1: Please do this for me LAR.
Wrong usage 2: I haven do my homework LAR.
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3. Leh
E.g 1: Please do this for me LEH.
E.g 2: Dont be too stingy LEH.
LEH is often mixed up with LAR.
LEH is always used at the end of every sentence, just as LAR. However the difference is, LEH is often used to replace the full stop and NOT the exclaimation marks.
To Singapreans, both LEH and LAR can be used very effectively and sometimes may make an impact with other Singaporeans.
However to those Non-Singaporeans, both LEH and LAR can be used effectively, for humourous effect, that is.
Wrong usage: Whatever LEH!
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4. Hor
E.g 1: Tell you HOR, that girl very chio leh.
E.g 2: Sometimes HOR, I really like to slap you.
Out of 10 sentences make by Singaporeans, 9 of them will always include HOR.
And from what we can see hor, HOR is often used to replace the comma and SHOULD be used before the comma.
However for some speical case, HOR can be used to replace the exclaimation marks, full stops. No wonder, HOR always appear in Singaporean sentences.
Special usage 1: Stop doing this HOR!
Special usage 2: I dont wish to hear you saying this HOR.
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5. Lor
E.g 1: I swear I never do this thing LOR.
E.g 2: He always like to touch me LOR.
LOR is not Law!
The usage of LOR is very natural to Singaporeans until it is very hard to explain how to use LOR.
However, after several thinking and reciting, I assume that LOR is commonly used as another replacement for the full stops.
However, LOR SHOULD NOT be used in any request as this will make the sentence sounds very wrong.
Correct me if I am wrong, Singaporeans.
Wrong uasage: Please help me do this LOR.
Wrong usage: Pass me that paper LOR.
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6. Le
E.g 1: I had done this LE.
E.g 2: Die Le!
LE is basically the direct translection of the chinese word, 了. And in the Chinese meaning, 了 means finish, settled or end.
LE, in Singaporean usage also means the same thing.
So you can ONLY use LE to describe something which is already confirmed or finished.
Wrong Usage 1: He always like to do this LE.
Wrong Usage 2: I hate him always doing this LE.
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7. Huh
E.g 1: HUH? Say again leh.
Probably the MOST easily understandable word used by Singaporeans.
Sweet and Simple, HUH is often used to replace the Ang Mo version of "Beg Your Pardon".
But as we know hor, Singaporean are very lazy to use long long Ang Mo words, so they just simplify it to just one word.
Nice, isnt it?
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8. De
E.g 1: He is Ah Lian de boyfriend
E.g 2: When I want to go out, it always rain de.
Yet another direct translection of the chinese word, 的. And in the Chinese meaning, 的 means belonging or target.
However in Singaporean usage, DE can also means something else.
In the 1st E.g, the usage of DE means belonging.
However, in the 2nd E.g, the usage of DE is to used as a form of "enhancement" to complete the whole Singlish sentence.
However, such "enhancement" can't be used in every sentence. It must depends on what sentence and which sentence.
Wrong usage 1: Stop crying DE.
Wrong usage 2: Play the music again DE.
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9. Siao
E.g 1: Stop being SIAO here.
E.g 2: He talk until so SIAO, how to believe?
"SIAO!"
You can always hear this word in every corner of Singapore, no matter in the Shopping Centre, bus stop or even the hospitals.
SIAO is the direct translection of Hokkien, which means Mad or Insane.
SIAO is commonly used for several purpose, for example, to scold, to disagree, to joke and even to describable something special.
SIAO is certainly important to Singaporeans for its purposes.
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~End~
怦怦说...
3:00 PM
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at this particular bar counter.
Recently, I had heard someone saying that...